Schultz Philosophy

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions.

Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of Miss America .

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields.

But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners .

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.


The lesson:

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care .

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”
-Charles Schultz

How NOT to Apply for a Job

This week I have started soliciting for a potential new Web Designer / Graphic Designer for my business. The resumes and portfolios are pouring in and some of them are pretty interesting. What is most interesting, is just how bad most people are at applying for a job (at least some of the people that have submitted applications so far).

Here are some REAL excerpts from some of the applicants…

With the economy going down, trusting a person with less experiance in the business industry is risky. That point of view, I understand but at the same time from me to that perspective, it’s bull shit.

– Seriously? You are really going to use profanity in a job application e-mail. Are you going to talk to my clients like that? I mean I have been known to drop my share of nasty words when required, but to a new company where you are requesting a job in an introduction e-mail? Seriously? Not to mention that this guy had some soft porn in his portfolio – probably not the best examples to send to a company who likes to use words like “integrity, character, and professionalism.”

Some simple rules we can take from this submission…

RULE #1 – Using profanity in a job application e-mail is a surefire way NOT get the job.

RULE #2 – While I am sure your buddies are impressed you did a porn site, most upstanding design firms are not.

In response to your online advertisement, please consider this letter as application for the vacant position of Web Designer / Graphic Designer.

With an eye for design and attention to detail, this self-starter works to balance intense creativity while many times juggling multiple projects. My past experience as a Graphic Designer for multiple publications helped me focus on tight deadlines, as I met and surpassed employer/customer expectations with speed and accuracy.

– Who talks like this? Did you copy it out of a manual or something? Are you selling a house or yourself? Who uses a line like “this self-starter works to balance…” – sounds to much like “This 4 bedroom, 3 bath home is located on a spiraling estate…” This is probably the opposite extreme from the guy above – a little too fake and packaged sounding for a design firm.

RULE #3 – Copying your resume and introduction text from a manual for how to sound like a robot is another great way to NOT get a ob.

And one more hot tip for designers looking for jobs – make your resume look as dull and boring as possible. This shows a great sense of creativity and expression. [Sarcasm included at no extra charge.]

With that said, I have had a few decent applicants and interested to see how it works out. Ultimately, I am thankful to be busy enough to be considering bringing in more people and not sending people away.

Letter from a Law Student

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters,

We’ve stuck together since the late 1950s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know that we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and just will not ever agree on what’s right. So let’s just end it right now while we can do it on friendly terms. We can smile, shake hands, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and each go our own way.

So here’s a model separation agreement.

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a portion. That’s going to be the difficult part, but I’m sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate taste. We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can have those. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. And since you hate guns and you hate war, we’ll take the firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. But you are going to be responsible for finding a biodiesel vehicle big enough to haul them around.

We’ll keep the capitalism, the greedy corporations, the pharmaceutical companies; we will keep Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have the homeless, the homeboys, the hippies and illegal aliens. We will keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, the greedy CEOS and all of the rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and we’ll let you have NBC and Hollywood.

You can be nice to Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer anybody that threatens us. You can have the peaceniks and the war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we will provide them with security. You won’t have to worry about it. We will keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley Maclaine. You can also have the UN, but we will no longer pay the bill.

We will keep the SUVs, the pickup trucks and the oversize luxury cars. You can have the compacts, the subcompacts and every Subaru station wagon you can find. You can give everybody healthcare, if you can find any practicing doctors. We will continue to believe that healthcare is a privilege and not a right. We will keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and the national anthem, and I am sure you will be happy to substitute in their place “Imagine.” I’d like to teach the world to sing “Kumbaya” or “We are the world.” We will practice trickle-down economics and you can give trickle-up poverty your best shot. And since it so offends you, we will keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots. And if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the friendly spirit of parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in about 15 years.


John J Wall

Law student and an American

P.S. You can also have Barbara Streisand and Jane Fonda