There was a lot to do at home tonight. Work left over from the day, chores to take care of, and the list goes on. Hayden (my oldest), ask if he could go watch the movie Courageous. I told him “sure” and he went off to watch it. I put the other three kids to bed and started on the list of things I needed to get done.
Just after I had gotten the other kids to bed, Hayden came in looking a little sad and asked if I’d come watch the movie with him. There is a part in the movie were a young girl dies in a car accident and she has an older brother. Hayden said it made it sad because he just couldn’t stop thinking of Eva (his 6 month old sister) — and “what if that was her.”
I had a lot to do, but I couldn’t say no to him. For the last hour and a half, I sat next to him on the playroom floor and we watched together. A movie about men who no longer accept being a “good enough father” — men who desired something greater for their families.
I’ve seen Courageous several times, but it gets me every time. Part way through the movie, one of the fathers was talking about things he could do to improve as a man. I asked Hayden if he thought I was a good father. He said, “of course you are Daddy.” And then I asked him what I could do to be a better father and he said, “nothing — you’re already the best you could be.”
I don’t believe that for a second, but the fact that he believes it, at least for now, was pretty special. My guess is that he won’t feel the same way when he’s 16 years old and not getting his way, but by the grace of God I will lay the best foundation for him and his brothers and sister that I can.
There is so much I could have done tonight and it all still needs to be done. But there is nothing greater I could have done. It’s easy to be too busy, I could have sat with him for a moment or fired up my iPhone on the side. Instead, I popped some pop corn and was really WITH him.
I’m guilty a million times over of not making the right decision with my time, but tonight I made the right one and was blessed for it.
Children can be INCREDIBLY stressful… but in the quiet moments, they bring joy like nothing else.
Thank you God for these moments.