Compete for your Spouse

Pretty much every married man competed for his wife at some point. The things we were willing to do to get her attention, affection, and love were limitless. (I can’t tell you how many episodes of “Friends” I’ve watched. P.S. Love you babe.)

Somewhere along the way, however, it gets easy to be comfortable in marriage. We stop fighting for attention, affection, and love — we take it for granted. That lose of fight can lead to a slow fade away from intimacy.

Now, it’s a tricky balance, because on one hand, you want to be confident in your marriage and it’s great to have a comfortable marriage, but on the other hand, the lack of fight for your spouse can make them feel unwanted, unneeded, and unloved. (You don’t want that.)

So how do you keep competing for that love after many years together?


One of the things my wife did for me at Christmas last year was a great example of this. It was a pack of 12 envelopes that she had created. Each envelope contained a special date for each month of the year. She spent the time to figure out 12 different dates and every month, I get to open an envelope and we get to go a fun date together. It’s awesome and it’s a reminder every month that after 13 years together, she’s still fighting for our love. That means the world to me and makes me want to keep fighting for her.

What can you do to show your spouse that you are still competing for them, even if you don’t have to?

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